Is it possible to have too many ideas? I thought the answer was yes. Especially yes, when my mind could no longer hold them all. They dance in my head like a Zumba class. They appear to me like thought bubbles and just like an MTV Pop Up video, I sometimes can't complete reading the thought bubble before another one pops up and distracts me from the previous one. For the longest time I thought I suffered from some kind of disorder, like some thing was very wrong with me. I mean really, who the hell just comes up with idea after idea after idea? What kinda skill is that? Some thing had to be wrong with me.
Because I thought it was some thing to be 'wrong' about, I tried all kinds of things to make it stop. Maybe if I get drunk enough or high enough, it would stop. But it never did. Then I tried to ignore it. Is it possible to ignore the Closed Captioning while watching a tv show? Exactly! Sometimes it is but sometimes there you are reading the damn tv show. Then I tried to swing the pendulum in the other direction. Maybe if I were just airy fairy, people would only request ideas from me and I would be able to vomit them out one by one like an Ideas Factory. That didn't work because people want ideas to also be implemented, not necessarily the area for the Ideas Generator. Damn!
"I stopped combing my mind so my thoughts would Loc!" Now I can look some where else instead of looking in my mind. My mind is full of tricks and deceptions - a true mindfield. I look therefore to my heart. Looking in my mind for my freedom means that I miss the source of the idea. It's not in my mind, it's in my heart. I comes from my vision for myself and my World. Wicked, so I'm not a freak. I am unique. My mind grows it and my heart feeds it. I am an Ideas Farmer looking for a matching opportunity where my idea can live and grow! Just like the Locs that grow on my head, my ideas continue to grow because my heart is full of love for myself, my communities and all communities! One year my friends set out to count the locs on my head. I've never committed to memory the number they came to but it was a lot. If that's what's happening on the outside, then it is a reflection of the inside but not the inside of my head, it is the inside of my heart. That's why I stopped combing it!
