Lessons in Trigger: Dolphins have sexually assaulted people?

I know what you're thinking.  Maybe not! But I know what I was  thinking when someone at the back of the room gave me this absolutely, unbelievable, you must be a rassoul, factoid.  Let me first say that I think this was the best lesson I have ever taught a group of young people.

The period as a result of my trigger the night before while checking participation in our discussion group.  The discussion group has some rules: be respectful to other opinions and express yours respectfully, make a post and reply to a post, when responding make sure to support your opinion with something from the article or audio clip.  I noticed that although the participation in the discussions was pretty good, no one actually followed that last one - Point - Proof - Discussion!  I came into class prepared to set them straight and that moving forward, anything less, would not be acceptable.

So there I was.  At the front of the room, giving an awesome understanding about the essentials of providing support for your point in an academic setting.  Waaa, Waaaa, Waaa!  The stares that I get back let me know that they got it but they weren't buying it.  Just as I was about to move on, a disruption in the back caught my attention:
"Ask her, ask her!"
"What would you like to ask me?"
"Miss, is it true that dolphins have raped people?"
Before I could even express an emotion....
"I heard that's true!"
"Dolphins are one of the few animals, like humans, that have sex for pleasure."
"Yeah, I seen that of WorldHipHop."

WELL...The flood gates opened.  I just couldn't control myself.  I started clowning the entire premise.  The jokes were just flowing like rain.  The kids were killing themselves laughing, like deep belly laughs.  People were trying to stop others from making any noise so they could make sure to hear my next singer:

"What the Dolphin gunna do, hold me down with his fins? Boy get outta here!"

"What they gunna do?  Oh, while I'm swimming by them, they start saying, 'hay, how you dooooinnnn'?"

We were howling!

Next thing another one found a Youtube video of a Dolphin seemingly humpin' some women.  Another dude found something on Wikipedia that stated 14 people annually are sexually assaulted by Dolphins.  14!!!!!!!! And that they have been known to "gang rape".

And then it happened.  All of a sudden, without even really being conscious of it, I hit them straight across the head.  Out loud, I started to count - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ,6 ,7 ,8!  Eight separate young people found a source for their point that Dolphins had sexually assaulted people.  8!

"Are you kidding me?  You all were able to support the crazy and insane but when I asked you to do that in a discussion, you acted confused as though it was something you couldn't do."

They tried to say that I tricked them but with ease admitted how much fun we had in learning a great lesson.

It was like magic and in that moment
they got,
I got it,
I was free.

And every time I remember this great day, I will be free again because I was my vision fulfilled.  I am my vision fulfilled.  Empowerment through Laughter!

What is life preparing you to DO?


(even my momma gave me a high five for well done when I told her this story)

"If my life wasn't funny, it would be real!" - Carrie Fisher

What if Life had a Quick Pull App? - Lessons in Trigger pt2!

"Your life is going into REBOOT in 5 seconds.  Press Escape to Cancel"

As a Blackberry user, I know about REbooting.  I've done it so many times, I decided a long time ago there had to be an easier way which lead me to the Blackberry App World to find a "Quick Pull App".  Quick Pull is the technical term used to describe the resolution to the problem of my phone not working to its fullest capacity or ability.  When the rebooting process is complete, you can automatically see just how much memory is newly available for my phone's functioning.  It is always amazing to me what my phone is able to pull off while working incredibly below it's potential. 

What is LIFE had a Quick Pull App?

Sounds like an awesome proposition.  While watching two young children play a video game the other day, I noticed something.  Just as the one kid was about the win the game, the other kid pulled the plug and rebooted the game.  Perfect solution to a problem?  That might work in childhood.  Actually, no it won't.  The conflict it caused between the two little boys I was observing required them to be physically removed from each other's company.  But imagine....

Had a bad day - quick pull!
Called into your boss' office - quick pull!
Staring at the overdraft of my bank account - quick pull!
Another repair for my gas guzzling SUV - quick pull!
Upset with a colleague - quick pull!
"Ain't doing that for sure" - quick pull!
Would prefer to hide from people - quick pull!
Don't want to be responsible/accountable? - quick pull!
Looking at the large roll around my waist where muscles used to be..- QUICK PULL!!!!

I think you get the point....As awesome as that might sound on some days, it just doesn't happen that way, not without the work that it takes to be clear such that I can Notice in the first place.  I'm more certain than ever that for my own life, it's a great thing it doesn't work that way.

My current relationship to the International Black Summit distinction known as "Trigger" is best paraphrased by a scene in KungFu Panda - "triggers are neither good or bad, they are just triggers".  Trigger is a Quick Pull.  An opportunity to REBOOT - "What is available when I NOTICE my trigger, BE with what is, and TRUST it provides me access to my Vision fulfilled".  Noticing MY Trigggers, I'm giving myself permission to REBOOT/Quick Pull because to notice triggers, BE with what is, I am accessing my vision fulfilled.  Trigger becomes a Quick Pull of life.  I can observe it in myself and for myself so I can be my vision fulfilled.  My Quick Pull becomes a great opportunity.

My coaching partner sent an email last night after being Triggered by watching Black Magic,  a four-hour documentary about the history of basketball as played at Historicall Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs).  He said that more than ever he is clear he needs to take our players in a certain direction inside of his vision for how basketball can transform their lives.  His 'trigger' solidified his overstanding for the importance of his vision for our basketball program and the players who engage in it.  His trigger gave him a "Quick Pull", a moment in life to reBOOT, refocus, repurpose, reconnect, reignite, and to be Re-spons-able to his vision fulfilled.  So clear, that I have been enfolded in the same overstanding because through it, I see something for myself.  My life has been given a Quick Pull too - a possibility that has been present all along but now together we can move forward with velocity inside of a possibility for each of us. 

I am no different.  Inside of the space of Trigger, I am QUICK PULLED into the power of my own vision.  My reboot makes me move with velocity and  I am the thing I have only imagined myself to be.  I am Empowerment Through Laughter and this is another lesson is Trigger.

Lessons in Trigger: The Journey to Ottawa 2013! pt1

Edwin Devaughn

I just got home yesterday.  What a trip!  From Birmingham I went to Atlanta to hang out for a few days.  It was on my maiden voyage on the Megabus when we got the news that Edwin Devaughn made his transition earlier that day.  His service was last Saturday so me, Quita, Henny, and Tamara drove from Atlanta to Clara's home in Cherry Hill NJ.  What a drive, but we humped it there arriving Friday afternoon to help clean the house to receive guests.

At that point, I was still kinda stunned by the whole thing and I just felt weary.  My head was really full of chatter about all kinds of things and I just couldn't get right about anything that was happening.  The distraction of my mind had me be very distracted with what I was going to wear.  All I had with me was white.  In tracking my "noticing" it was the moment that Clara walked in the room in white and said that not everyone knew yet but they can wear white with purple, exactly what I was about to put on, that I knew we were present inside of an alignment I was unaware of but knew I needed to be a part of.

We gathered on Saturday, August 11, 2012 in love to support our sister Clara and to say good bye to our brother Edwin.  It was a very moving tribute that had 292 of his Omega Psi Phi brothers show up in tribute to his life.  As well, his high school band played as we exited the church and at the cemetary.  The church was packed with all kinds of people from all of the parts of Edwin's life I didn't know about.

Summit family returning home from the Summit annual event, those living in the area plus those who traveled, all came together like NATO in response to a crisis!  Clara requested for us to share the Declaration and when we stood in front of that church, I saw our power.  It was an amazing demonstration of being able to notice moments and Be with what is in order to see when you are your vision fulfilled.  We are our visions fulfilled.  Some of us just don't get to always see that.  It's confirmed for those who loved us when we die but while alive, how many of us get a chance to know for sure?  The Conversation of the International Black Summit let's me know when I get present enough to notice.  Standing there sharing the Declaration, I saw it for Edwin, I heard it, I experienced it.  His journey is complete....He is his vision fulfilled...He has done his spiritual job toward his destiny!!!!  In that moment, I was proud and determined....

"What is available when I NOTICE my Trigger, BE with what is, and TRUST it provides me access to my vision fulfilled?"

Edwin was self-titled 'Captain of the Trigger team' on the Facilitator Body.  Many people shared how it was Edwin who was the "trigger" that brought them together or kept them together.  The award on the wall said: "Before there was Twitter or Facebook, there was Goldboot..."  Laughter usually erupted every time that story was shared.  I drove for 12+ hours, something I would have said was crazy otherwise.... Through that I Noticed: Triggers are neither negative nor positive, they are just triggers (paraphrase from Kung Fu Panda).  Releasing my attachment to the relationship I have with/to the trigger, provides me a deeper access to something I'm suppose to BE with.

Standing in front of that church, I experienced TRUST in so many things seen and unseen.  I was proud of us and how we came together in different stages of BE/ing with what is around our own relationships to death - the right people, in the right moment - to share the Declaration of the International Black Summit so those people could know that part of Edwin too.  We were powerful because the opportunity is available for everyone to know now.

Edwin was the trigger....I'm doing the work to notice the moments when I am My Vision Fulfilled.....

#TrenchLife

"Faith doesn't mean you believe you're gonna get your's so you sit around and wait for it. It means believe you will get your's because you're working towards it." - Garry Gallimore TrenchLife

"People can't read your thoughts, so thinking about making an effort is not good enough. The work you do will speak loud enough so those around will understand your purpose." -- TrenchLife

TrenchLife Suit Up and Go!

TrenchLife: The Product

TrenchLife - Generation!

"Your Dream Will Remain Dormant.  If you Awake From Your Rest And Continually Do Nothing Towards Making Your Dreams Reality." -- TrenchLife

Trenches ALL DAY!

"Dream it, Want it, Go Get It."

TrenchLife

PHX Camp 2012

Ottawa Phoenix Elite Summer Training Camp

"Our Team's Practice is your Team's Punishment"

"We get work done!"

Keynote Address - MOST (Making Ottawa Safe Together)

Engaging Black Youth (talking notes)

When I sat to put my talking notes together, I was very challenged to figure out exactly what I would say to you.  After all, how hard can it be to engage youth in general and black youth specifically?  It’s easy for me, so what’s the problem?

First, I have had almost 45 years of study about this, 20+ years of which I have been locked in a laboratory with daily intense study of the beast we speak of – the young adult and the teenager.  I work with youth but I study black youth with a special focus on the connection between strong cultural ties and academic confidence. 

So, perhaps I have an unfair advantage...

Someone might say that and that person may unfortunately be one of those adults who forgot that you can’t get to YOU without going through YOUth and I mean that literally and figuratively.

I know THIS because by working with black youth, I found ME!  I found my true calling in this world amidst the crazy, the chaos, the foolishness and the insane, I found ME and I’m blessed everyday I actively work to work myself out of a job. 

That’s right!  Work myself out of a job!  If I believe anything I say about the power that comes from engaged, self-actualized youth in a way that helps them empower themselves, then I should be shortly out of a job and happy to sit back and watch as they become the caretakers of the worlds they create.

If I’m not working to do that then I’m full of crap and I’m pimping youth just like a lot of other things in their day and I should not be trusted to be my word about anything I say therefore why engaging youth may be challenging. 

Adults think like adults and would be much better served to return to the head space we had before we became fearful and cynical about the possibilities of the world – innocent and naïve are powerful tools and a beautiful space for community innovation.  It prevents you from seeing the barriers that say you CAN NOT do something.  Possibility lives in that space.  One of our youth leaders use to describe it like a ball of twine.  When the energy was positive, she would say her ball of twine was growing.  As soon as doubt or negativity entered her consciousness, the ball of twine would begin to unravel.  How many times, as adults, do we allow our ball of twine to unravel because we’re afraid we can actually get from life the things we claim we want?

That’s also, interestly, why teenagers and young adults need Adults – to provide them the safe space to be their visions fulfilled while holding the space – literally and figuratively – until they have ALL their strength to stand up with that vision in the world for real.

I think my mother would say I was a different kind of kid.  I was certainly full of energy and I was very observant.  I almost never missed something.  It also meant that I noticed easily when things were foolish to the point I frequently needed corporal punishment in order for me to not say out loud what I noticed.  She would also certainly say that I was always laughing and for sure mischievous.  For sure though the one she would have to be forced to admit, is that I’ve never been very good with rules.  She might have accidently nurtured my natural sense of curiosity.  Although I may not have read a certain kind of book cover to cover until I was in my 20s, every year for Christmas, my parents would be give me two books – a book of facts and a Guinness Book of Records.  I was in my glory driving people crazy with loads of useless information you would only need to know if you were going on Jeopardy. 

As a result, I am the perfect collision of the time in history I was born and the place my parents were in their lives when I came around – young, recently married, community activists, new Canadians who came as students originally and entering into their adult public lives. 

My engagement in and with the youth IN me allows for me to say that “I AM AN ACTIVIST AND ADVOCATE HOLDING THE SPACE FOR YOUNG ADULTS TO CREATE THE WORLD THEY WANT TO LIVE IN.” 

I want to live in that kind of world and that’s why I/WE do what we do….

What do We DO?

I’m always challenged by this question too.  Whenever we are outside of black communities and/or our organization is announced, What do you do? is frequently the first question asked.  What does 3Dreads and a Baldhead do?  The answer is unofficially ANYTHING OUR PASSIONS GUIDE US TO DO but officially is says that 3Dreads and a Baldhead provides opportunities for people in black communities to transform their lives by maximizing their physical, mental, spiritual, and economic potential. 

I am the Founder and Opportunities Broker of 3Dreads and a Baldhead.  We give nothing to anyone.  We are each a representation of the opportunity available when you do the daily work that it takes to be your vision fulfilled.  The things we “DO” are just a manifestation of that overstanding.  The DOING/BEING/LIVING of the vision creates things:

Ottawa Phoenix Basketball – provides an opportunity to experience that vision through pressures of being in a competitive athletic program. In this context, excellence includes commitment to the physical and emotional well-being, and social development of student-athletes as well as to the development of their sense of citizenship, dedication to sportsmanship and fair play, the development of individual and team skills, the exertion of best effort, the will to win, and the general conduct that brings credit to the program and is a source of pride and enthusiasm for all members of the community.

The Be More Leadership Academy -- is a youth friendly space established for black youth by black youth to support the growth and development of their leadership capacity, personal development, mentoring and networking skills.  The leadership body of the Be More Academy is also 'response-able' for the facilitation and organization of the annual Black Youth Conference Day.

Jesslyn Colley and Sarah Musa - CHUO Ad 2010

Punchline and Hip Hop Loves

The Black Youth Conference -- is an annual event that gathers black youth together in order to engage them in a conversation, empowering them to be active participants in the discovery, manifestation, and articulation of their visions for themselves, Black communities, and the World.

BlackYouthaPalooza – is a unique networking event and the 2^nd day of the Black Youth Conference.  The Be More Academy is showcased giving communities an opportunity to meet some of community’s best and brightest young adults: Art, academics, athletics, entertainment, poetry, business, ideas, possibility, and potential are just a few of the areas of passion for this unique group of young, gifted and black movers and shakers. 

The recently launched Men’s and Women’s Programs:

The Women’s Program -- A year long intergenerational conversation for women to gather in a holistic space of healing to dialog, clear, share life, exchange their passions and create vision; while developing the tools to capture the essence of who we are in relationship to self in being our vision fulfilled.

The Men’s Barbershop Conversation – A year long intergenerational conversation for men to engage in ongoing dialog, share life, exchange their passions and create vision; while developing the tools to capture the essence of who you are in relationship to self in being the physical, mental and spiritual self-expression of all that is powerful and abundant in being your vision fulfilled.

Current Community Partnerships include:

The International Black Summit/International Black Youth Summit

Urban Priorities and Focus on Youth Programs with the OCDSB

Sankofa Bookstore

   YOUCAN

Canada Blood Services, ONEMatch

Ottawa Bluesfest, Broad Communities Program

 A Different Booklist

Break the Chains: The War on Drugs as it impacts Communities of Color

Celebrating Catherine!

The long weekend that kicks off the summer foolishness is complete along with adventures with the Coddett Family.  Holy crap, there are some interesting people in my Coddett branch of  family.  There is a clear line of activists, teachers, innovators, entrepreneurs, and community leaders.  I was completely enfolded to attend and the alignment was perfect once I noticed that I have been guided in my pursuits and passion by something that seems to be part of my DNA.  THe universe is leading me down a path that has been walked by many in my own family and gathered in their energy, I feel even more empowered to continue the work that has me be my vision fulfilled because it's more than what I do, It's what a Coddett does and has done.  Blessed to have that influence on both sides of my family making me the perfect collision of fortune.

It was even more wonderful especially for the main reason we all gathered in the first place which was in celebration of a phenomenal matriarch of our family.  Catherine Andrew is the 2nd eldest of my grandmother's siblings, my great aunt.  I have always known her to be a bigger than life kind of character.  When we were children, I use to remark at how big she physically was and in adulthood, I know that I was not only referring to her stature. For my whole life it seems, she's lived on Oak Street in Hempstead Long Island.  My parents' held their wedding reception at that house and I believe my father lived there just after he graduated from Howard and before he was married in 1965.  Much of what I know about her life has been told to me.  Born in British Guyana, she grew up in the States with two other siblings while my grandmother grew up in Guyana.  She has seven children - 1 daughter and 6 boys.  She was married to Albert, a longshoreman who clearly had a lot of adventures based on the stories he told when he was alive.  I was always intrigued by their marriage and what kind of character I made him up to be.

Her house was always a welcoming house, symbolized by the number of children and young adults she provided refuge to through foster parenting. Her life has been by no means perfect and seemingly she has managed many of life's challenges with the grace befitting of the title ELDER.  One of her sons called her his hero on Saturday.  The energy she emits is still powerful even at 90.

I remember when we were little, she would always call you 'baby doll' or 'puddin' or 'darling' when she called you.  It always made me feel special when she did that.  I heard a story from one of my students who told me the reaction of one of her friends to my calling them "darling".  She said her friend ran up to her and said, "OMG, Miss Coddett just called me darling!"  She replied, "she says that to everyone."  It was communicated that the student felt special the same way I use to when Aunt Catherine said it to me.

Although a lifelong battle with diabetes has reduced her large frame to one that is frail, her vision nearly gone, she is still larger than life.  She's still an inspiration for what it means to be woman and a person full of personality.  She's what it means to be family.  A Jehovah Witness by faith meant that she wasn't celebrating it, WE were!  Happy Birthday Aunt Catherine

We Are The Ones by Dwayne Morgan

posted by: Dwayne Morgan

We Are The Ones

To be a gift,
Born into this world male,
Packaged in black wrapping paper,
Is to be constantly reminded
That you are disposable,
That your life lacks meaning and value,
And isn’t protected by the law.
There is no pretty bow
Or designs on your packaging;
You live knowing that justice is a drunk
That will not be served.
We, the black gifts,
are the first to be accused
And the last to be believed.
We are the guilty until proven innocent,
The aggressor despite the evidence.
We are the hoops
For which loop holes are made;
The ones who fight daily
For their dignity.
We are the sambos,
The puppets,
Our worth based on the value
We bring our puppeteers,
So dance negro dance,
Rap black boy rap,
Run nigga run,
But what about those of us
Who are regular,
Who are average,
Who don’t have special talents
That society wants or loves,
We are just their packaging,
Bodies wrapped in black skin,
Stuck on modern day plantations
being abused at will,
And people wonder why we seldom smile,
And why it seems like our looks could kill.
We are the ones who put basket balls
In our sons’ palms
Before they can talk,
And only dribble,
With the hope that they will grow
To dribble beyond their packaging.
We are the ones that make elevators go quiet,
Purses and loved ones clenched tighter.
We are the deer that stare
at the barrel of guns,
But there is no license needed to hunt us.
I am the suspicious package
At the airport,
Or in any store with goods
That we aren’t supposed to be able to afford,
Whether I’m in a hoodie or a suit;
Accused of driving while black
In mini vans or coups.
We are the black licorice
discarded at Halloween,
The silhouette
used for target practice by the police.
We are the black men
Who want nothing more
Than to be Human,
With respect and dignity;
So this is for every Trayvon, Jaekwon,
Marcus, Jordan, Dwayne,
Every gift wrapped in black skin,
Considered a nigger
Despite having a name.
This is for everyone
who feels the pain of race,
for the empty seat
Beside a black man on the train.
We are the ones who cry constantly
When we see,
People being killed for no reason
Who look just like me.
We are the ones who meet death
On cold asphalt,
Discarded like road kill.
We are the ones;
Worthless gifts,
Packaged in black wrapping paper
That nobody wants.
We are the voiceless.
We are the ones.
@dwayne_morgan

These are my sons and I'm not losing any of them to bullshit! We stay focussed. We stay strong. We are PHX.
We are Trayvon!